If you have been feeling lately——
- I can't stop thinking in my head
- I can’t feel motivated to do anything, but I don’t dare to stop.
- Swinging between two cultures, not knowing "who I am"
- After reading a lot of "self-discipline" and "mindfulness" methods, I feel even more anxious.
Then this article is written for you.
Today we won’t talk about those Western psychological terms, nor will we teach you to post “motivational slogans” on the ceiling.Let’s go back to the East two thousand years ago and see how Laozi and Zhuangzi dealt with this problem.
Why are overseas Chinese more likely to be anxious?
Let’s talk about a phenomenon first:The anxiety of overseas Chinese is different from that of friends at home.
Friends in China are anxious, and most of them are worried about "issues" - promotion, mortgage, and children's education. These anxieties have specific objects.
The anxiety of overseas Chinese is often deeper:
- status anxiety:Am I Chinese or "from a certain country"? Neither side fully agrees.
- Cultural tear: Follow one set of rules at home and another set of rules when going out. There is no bridge between the two sets.
- lack of belonging: The material conditions are not bad, but I always feel "floating" and without roots.
Taoism has a very accurate diagnosis of this situation——"Losing one's home"。
Meaning: It’s not your environment that has a problem, it’sYour heart does not "live" in your body。
You are overseas, but your heart is in China. Or people are in the company and worried. Or maybe people are here, and their hearts are full of regrets about "what if...".
The separation of mind and identity is the source of anxiety.
So how do you get your heart back? Taoism gives us five keys.
Exercise 1: Observe breathing - "Shout" your heart back
source:"Zhuangzi·Human World" "If you have one will, you will not listen with your ears but listen with your heart; if you don't listen with your heart, you will listen with your breath."
Zhuangzi's meaning is very straightforward: don't listen to external sounds with your ears, listen with your heart; when you can listen with your heart, go one step further and listen with your "qi".
Practical method:
- Find a quiet place to sit down with your back straight (you don’t need to cross your legs, just sit on a chair)
- Close your eyes and focus on the area under your nose and above your upper lip
- Breathe naturally and feel your breath passing through that area
- No need to deliberately "take a deep breath" or "count" - just感受breath in and out
- Every time my mind wanders, I find myself thinking about work/children/tomorrow——Don't criticize yourself, gently bring your attention back to your breathing
It only takes 3 minutes a day.
At the beginning, you will find that your mind wanders for maybe 2 minutes and 50 seconds out of 3 minutes. It doesn't matter, Taoism doesn't talk about "persistence", but "let nature take its course". When the mind wanders, pull it back, pull it back again, and then pull it back again when the mind wanders - this process itself is practice.
Exercise 2: Keep One – Do one thing at a time
source:Chapter 48 of the "Tao Te Ching" "In order to learn, we are getting better and better, and in order to be wise, we are getting worse every day. We are losing more and more, so that we can do nothing."
Modern people's anxiety largely comes from "doing too many things at the same time." Checking your phone while eating, answering emails while attending a meeting, spending time with your kids while thinking about work - your attention span is torn to pieces.
Taoism says:损。Lose. Cut off the excess and keep only one piece.
Practical method:
- Choose a small daily thing - such as drinking a cup of tea, taking a walk, washing the dishes
- When doing this,Just do this one thing
- Drink tea: feel the temperature of the cup, the color of the tea, and the taste in the mouth
- Walking: Feel the feeling of your feet on the ground and the coolness of the wind on your face
- Washing dishes: Feel the water flowing through your fingers and the foam on the bowl.
Do it once a day for 5 minutes each time.
This exercise seems ridiculously simple. But when you actually do it, you will find that - it turns out that I was thinking about other things even when I was drinking a cup of tea.
To return your mind to one thing is to "keep oneness".
Exercise 3: Adapt – Admit that there are things you can’t control
source:Chapter 22 of "Tao Te Ching" "The crooked part is perfect, the wrong part is straight, the hollow part is full, and the broken part is new."
Lao Tzu's logic is very counter-intuitive: crooked things can be preserved, wronged things can be straightened, low-lying things can be filled up, and worn-out things can be renewed.
This is not chicken soup. This is a powerful antidote to the desire for control.
We are anxious largely becauseWant to control the uncontrollable: Tomorrow’s interview results, children’s future, partner’s thoughts, economic trends, other people’s opinions of themselves…
Taoism says:Admit it, you can't control it.
Practical method:
- Take out a piece of paper and draw a vertical line. Write "What I can control" on the left and "What I can't control" on the right.
- Write what you are anxious about recently in the column on the right
- Look at the column on the right and say to yourself:"Okay, I can't control these things. I accept that."
- Then turn your attention back to the left - what can you do? Even small things
This is not "giving up". This isFree energy from wasted work。
Just like water - water is never as hard as stone. It goes around. If you can't get around it, just wait and wait for the stone to weather. This is what it means.
Exercise 4: Simplify – you don’t need that much
source:Chapter 12 of "Tao Te Ching" "The five colors make people blind, and the five sounds make people deaf..."
Lao Tzu said: If there are too many colors, the eyes will not be able to see clearly; if there are too many sounds, the ears will not be able to hear. Therefore, saints only seek to eat well, not to look good.
Translated into modern dialect:Your senses are overloaded.
Social media, short videos, news feeds, group chat messages, emails...the amount of information your brain receives every day may be 10,000 times that of the ancients. And the hardware of your brain is no different than it was two thousand years ago.
Information overload = fuel for anxiety.
Practical method:
- Do an “information fasting” experiment:Choose one day a week, don’t read social media, don’t watch short videos, don’t check news
- Use the extra time in that day to do something "slow" - make tea, take a walk, write, and have a good meal with your family
- After you're done, record how you feel. Compare the status of "checking the phone for a day" and "not checking the phone for a day"
No need to do it in one step. You can also start with half a day.
You will find:It turns out that those things you "must see" won't do anything if you don't see them.
Exercise 5: Use softness to overcome strength – when anxiety comes, don’t resist
source:Chapter 78 of "Tao Te Ching" "No one in the world is softer than water, and no one who attacks the strong can win."
This is probably the most counter-intuitive one.
What is our default response to anxiety?confrontation.
- "I shouldn't be anxious" → more anxious
- "I have to find a way to eliminate anxiety quickly" → Anxiety doubled
- "No one else is anxious, why am I the only one like this?" → Adding another layer of shame to anxiety
Taoism says:Don't resist. Resistance gives energy to anxiety.
Practical method:
- When anxiety occurs,stop what you are doing
- Don’t analyze it, don’t solve it, don’t judge it
- Like a bystander, observe how your body feels - is your heart beating fast? Chest tightness? Are the shoulders tight?
- Say to yourself in your mind:"Okay, I feel it. The anxiety is coming. It's going to go too."
- Keep doing what you have to do, with all the anxiety
It's like treating an uninvited guest - you don't invite him in and you don't turn him away. You just say, "Oh, it's you," and go on about your business. Of course he will leave.
this is"Inaction"wisdom. Not doing nothing. RatherDon’t engage in unnecessary confrontation。
Summary table of five exercises
| 练习 | Taoist wisdom | daily duration | One sentence formula |
|---|---|---|---|
| ① Observe breathing | Listen with Qi | 3 minutes | Feel the breath and don’t criticize for being distracted |
| ② Shouichi | Pursuing the Dao, decrease daily | 5 minutes | do one thing at a time |
| ③ Adapt | Yield and be whole | 10 minutes | Admit that you can't control it, but you can do it by returning to it |
| ④ Simplify | Care for the belly, not the eyes | one day a week | Fast information and return to slow life |
| ⑤ Use softness to overcome hardness | The highest good is like water | 随时 | Anxiety is coming, don’t resist |
A few final words
Taoist wisdom never makes you a "perfect person."
it makes youbecome a real person。
What it really means is: admit that you will be tired, anxious, out of control, and distracted. Then continue to live a good life with these "imperfections".
Lao Tzu said: "Great skill is like clumsiness."
The highest wisdom seems to do nothing. But it is precisely this posture of "doing nothing" that is the most difficult practice.
No need to do all five. Choose one first. Do it for three days. See what happens.
📌 Have you tried using Taoist wisdom to manage anxiety? Which is the most efficient method? Feel free to share your experience in the comment area. OK WhatsApp Contact me, talk about your story.
🔗 Further reading:Taoist wisdom and business practice | How much is your destiny destined by God?